Have you notice what has happened to you?
Hold up mirror,
look deep into your own eyes.
Take a deep breath, and now...
Tell me three things you love about yourself.
Easy???
Now tell me three things you love about partner,
each of your kids,
your boss,
your school,
your street,
your community,
your work,
the stores you shop,
the food you eat,
the clothes you wear,
the church you may or may not attend.
Don't stop there.
you can't forget about the people sitting next to you
on the bus,
or in class,
how about the people
waiting to get their kids from school with you?
Do you see it now?
No?
then let me explain.
You complain
about your surroundings.
You are putting down your neighborhood,
the house down the street,
the store around corner,
and the sales clerk at the register.
I saw you
tapping your foot in impatience as the line in front of you is moved too slow.
I heard you
grumbling under your breath about the incompetence of the worker.
My kids heard
your annoyance as you spoke at the coupon lady.
They saw you
roll your eyes at the loud, tired and cranky child,
as you rushed to get your shopping done.
Wasn't that you, mocking the stores you shop,
the people in the aisles,
and the workers trying to make a living?
Why are you being so negative about the World?
I should rephrase.
I do not mean the whole world.
just yours.
Do your kids see it?
do they hear it when you speak?
Are you the bully your kids are imitating?
WHAT???
AM I CALLING YOU A BULLY???!!!
yup.
Because being a bully is more than just what we hear on the news.
It is more than just kids that act out in school, belittling and hurting their peers.
It is more than the hate crimes that are recorded in the papers,
seen on the television, and spoken in anger.
Did you ever think that it started with you?
that your negativity,
and judgement of just your simple surroundings,
was the first step
to creating the kid that made another's life not worth living.
All because you said,
a person's choice to
live,
work,
dress,
act,
shop,
speak
was not good enough.
You complain about a neighbors weeds,
their garbage cans rolling down the street,
the barking dog,
but you didn't think to check to see what you could do to lend a hand.
Don't deny it.
We are all guilty here.
I noticed
you go upset when you found out that your sister didn't have her kids in clean clothes.
Did you know her washer stopped working last week,
that they lost their employment,
& is just so overwhelmed with exhaustion
they just could keep up?
I bet you would hold your tongue,
just a little
if you knew she couldn't tell you because of that mouth of yours.
it is wide open,
ready to spread rumors and gossip.
How she dreads how your tongue,
cheeks,
teeth
and lips
quickly form the words used to talk behind her back.
See, you are a bully.
So I am telling you to stop, because I am tired.
Tired of the negativity we see in everything,
never giving ourselves a moment to check ourselves.
The expectation that people lie, cheat, steal.
The whole, everyone is a suspect, mentality is exhausting.
I am done
with listening to people complain about where, when, and how they shop.
I am disgusted
that we hate so many things, about every aspect of our lives.
I want my kids to see rainbows,
believe in Santa, and reach for dreams.
I want them to know that we need
mechanics, plumbers, cashiers, and farmers,
just as much and sometimes more
than a doctor or lawyer, or CEO.
I need them to find the path
that will make them feel whole,
complete,
and alive.
I want them to do it all, without fear.
Without fear they will succeed in finding, catching and holding their dreams.
So I am going to
remind myself of the joy which is my life.
EVERYDAY.
You need to do it too.
BECAUSE
I don't want YOU to ruin MY CHILD.
You may be their teacher, their couch, the family friend.
You are in their life, and probably so your kids.
And they need you to do it for them.
So stop for a moment,
and before you open your mouth.
Before you type that next status.
Make sure that the comment you are making is to help,
is constructive,
and meant to improve.
Even when it is something that we don't want to hear.
Because,
even though your truth might hurt,
they still want you to hold their hand.
Sincerely,
Me
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